Monday, August 31, 2009
♥ Why am doing this again? right... I'm stupid!
Alright! I admit it, I am stupid. I’m stupid because I’m willing to be s slave for Darleen & do whatever she needs me to do. E.g. pick up DVDs she ordered & buy freaking internet gift cards for her so she can spend it online. As for me, I only have a little benefit as to keeping whatever there’s left from the payments. I feel like a scabber.
Today was one of those days where I performed another slavery work. One thing I hate about picking up shits on a week day has to be getting squished on a public bus in the afternoon (now I know how public school students feel). I’m not a fan of standing on the bus especially when it’s turning; if I don’t hold on to those dangling thingy I will eventually crash into someone sitting in front of me. To top that up, I have 2 very heavy bags to look after, one hanging on my arm and the other sitting on the floor between my feet. The trip from Garden City to home has to be one of the worse nightmares ever. Although I was lucky enough to be able to sit for a bit, not very comfortable. I was sitting on the edge of the very front seat (those seats are usually for one person) & there was this Indian guy next to me. Instead of facing the front, I turned side ways so my feet dangled in the air & twisted my body around to face the back on the bus. Everyone seemed to be minding there own business. Most were listening to there iPods and mobile, some looked around curiously & others stare ahead curelessly, some were talking & some were sleeping. This is your everyday public bus scene. Occasionally you do see (& hear) babies crying out loudly in the little cramped space & it seem that not even the mum can make them shut up.
Now why did I have to go through all that when the thing I picked up wasn’t even for me? Why did I have to go through all the trouble just to get the gift card so that my friend can spend it all in less than 3 days? And why didn’t I just tell her no? Oh that’s right; I’m stupid & too friendly.
: P
YuMi
Today was one of those days where I performed another slavery work. One thing I hate about picking up shits on a week day has to be getting squished on a public bus in the afternoon (now I know how public school students feel). I’m not a fan of standing on the bus especially when it’s turning; if I don’t hold on to those dangling thingy I will eventually crash into someone sitting in front of me. To top that up, I have 2 very heavy bags to look after, one hanging on my arm and the other sitting on the floor between my feet. The trip from Garden City to home has to be one of the worse nightmares ever. Although I was lucky enough to be able to sit for a bit, not very comfortable. I was sitting on the edge of the very front seat (those seats are usually for one person) & there was this Indian guy next to me. Instead of facing the front, I turned side ways so my feet dangled in the air & twisted my body around to face the back on the bus. Everyone seemed to be minding there own business. Most were listening to there iPods and mobile, some looked around curiously & others stare ahead curelessly, some were talking & some were sleeping. This is your everyday public bus scene. Occasionally you do see (& hear) babies crying out loudly in the little cramped space & it seem that not even the mum can make them shut up.
Now why did I have to go through all that when the thing I picked up wasn’t even for me? Why did I have to go through all the trouble just to get the gift card so that my friend can spend it all in less than 3 days? And why didn’t I just tell her no? Oh that’s right; I’m stupid & too friendly.
: P
YuMi
7:08 PM
Thursday, August 27, 2009
♥ Crossing the limits!
Some people in this world just don’t know what the limits are, and some… bitch about others without looking at themselves in the mirror to realise that they the real ugly one.
Love & hate, loyalty & betrayal, right & wrong. Being 2 faced isn’t going to get you anywhere. At first you might be able to become popular with people, but at the end you will lose everything. You’ll lose the trust from your friends and it will all be too late for you to build that trust up again. You can make up rumours & people will believe you but later the words that you have spread will come right back to attack you. It’s just the matter of time that everyone realises what a freaking back stabber you really are under that pretty face. I think it’s time that you take a good look at yourself & see that what you are doing makes you one of those useless sh*t in this society. If you have time to write a blog on Wretch to bitch about others, then you might as well use that time to do something more useful & constructive. Gossiping isn’t going to get you a job especially when they are all lies. Of course, things don’t have to be this way. But if are going to be a shameless & back-stabbing a**hole then by all means go ahead. Because not everyone is going to put up with your bullshit. You are right, people don’t change. I guess that means an evil s**t like you is never going to change. Good luck with becoming the most hated person. When you say that someone have too much time on their hands that means the same applies to you. When you said you can’t be stuffed fighting with someone else, then why the hell did you have to bitch about them all the time?
You might be popular right now & there will be a lot of people on your side, but just because you are popular doesn’t make you a better person. Just because you can brainwash everyone to believe that you on the innocent victim doesn’t make you innocent. Deep down, that little guilt is there & it’s slowly eating you away. It’s only the matter of time before all your shamelessness is exposed for all to see. It’s only the matter of time before someone tears off your innocent mask & reveal to the world what kind of human you really are.
Now I’m not in the position of saying all this since I’m pretty much doing exactly what you did a couple of weeks ago. But unlike you, at least I have a good reason for doing this. For you, it’s just plain evil intension. The reason I’m saying all this is simply because you have crossed the limit. You can say or do whatever you want and I don’t even want to give a sh*t about it. But as soon as it concerns someone who is important to me, I’m going to have to step in whether you want me to or not because there is NO WAY that I’m going to stand around & watch you spread those meaningless craps about who I love & care about. For your age, you should know better that what you are saying will lead to hatred. If you know that, then for hell’s sake SHUT THE HELL UP!!! If you still don’t realise it, then I truly fell sorry for what a coward you really are.
YuMi
Love & hate, loyalty & betrayal, right & wrong. Being 2 faced isn’t going to get you anywhere. At first you might be able to become popular with people, but at the end you will lose everything. You’ll lose the trust from your friends and it will all be too late for you to build that trust up again. You can make up rumours & people will believe you but later the words that you have spread will come right back to attack you. It’s just the matter of time that everyone realises what a freaking back stabber you really are under that pretty face. I think it’s time that you take a good look at yourself & see that what you are doing makes you one of those useless sh*t in this society. If you have time to write a blog on Wretch to bitch about others, then you might as well use that time to do something more useful & constructive. Gossiping isn’t going to get you a job especially when they are all lies. Of course, things don’t have to be this way. But if are going to be a shameless & back-stabbing a**hole then by all means go ahead. Because not everyone is going to put up with your bullshit. You are right, people don’t change. I guess that means an evil s**t like you is never going to change. Good luck with becoming the most hated person. When you say that someone have too much time on their hands that means the same applies to you. When you said you can’t be stuffed fighting with someone else, then why the hell did you have to bitch about them all the time?
You might be popular right now & there will be a lot of people on your side, but just because you are popular doesn’t make you a better person. Just because you can brainwash everyone to believe that you on the innocent victim doesn’t make you innocent. Deep down, that little guilt is there & it’s slowly eating you away. It’s only the matter of time before all your shamelessness is exposed for all to see. It’s only the matter of time before someone tears off your innocent mask & reveal to the world what kind of human you really are.
Now I’m not in the position of saying all this since I’m pretty much doing exactly what you did a couple of weeks ago. But unlike you, at least I have a good reason for doing this. For you, it’s just plain evil intension. The reason I’m saying all this is simply because you have crossed the limit. You can say or do whatever you want and I don’t even want to give a sh*t about it. But as soon as it concerns someone who is important to me, I’m going to have to step in whether you want me to or not because there is NO WAY that I’m going to stand around & watch you spread those meaningless craps about who I love & care about. For your age, you should know better that what you are saying will lead to hatred. If you know that, then for hell’s sake SHUT THE HELL UP!!! If you still don’t realise it, then I truly fell sorry for what a coward you really are.
YuMi
5:57 PM
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
♥ Fail~~ = ="
Just when I thought all my assignments are done and over with, more comes. This term went by really fast, exams are coming up in 2 weeks and I am majorly freaking out.
I doubt that I’ll even pass the 2 assignments that I have completed so far. I did my Chemistry ERT in 1 night and wrote up my English speech plus the presentation in 1 night as well. According to most of the people, I spoke too fast in my speech and was reading the palm cards instead of giving the audiences eye contacts. The thing is, I am never good at oral presentations. The reason being that I panic when there is a whole a lot people watching me which leads to me screwing up. The moment I look up at the 30 or so pair of eyes staring at me, I freak out! My voice will tremble, I forgot what I was suppose to say next and sometimes I skip a line or 2 on the palm card. The teacher always say that you only put dot points are you palm card and use it as prompts instead of a script. I can never do that, the fact that I am a loser at memorising words makes everything so hard if you want me to remember the entire 4 minutes speech. Although I am quite good at memorising numbers, so I have no problem with cramping 10 different phone numbers in my head. But that isn’t much of a help when you are doing English presentations. So I’m a real screw up, I’ll admit that.
I have 3 exams in total. Maths B, English & Home Economics. Out of the 3, I think the one that I’m most likely to fail is…ALL OF THEM. I’m an epic fail, that’s for sure. Everyone get ready to watch me get slice-and-dice by my dad by the end of this term!
YuMi
I doubt that I’ll even pass the 2 assignments that I have completed so far. I did my Chemistry ERT in 1 night and wrote up my English speech plus the presentation in 1 night as well. According to most of the people, I spoke too fast in my speech and was reading the palm cards instead of giving the audiences eye contacts. The thing is, I am never good at oral presentations. The reason being that I panic when there is a whole a lot people watching me which leads to me screwing up. The moment I look up at the 30 or so pair of eyes staring at me, I freak out! My voice will tremble, I forgot what I was suppose to say next and sometimes I skip a line or 2 on the palm card. The teacher always say that you only put dot points are you palm card and use it as prompts instead of a script. I can never do that, the fact that I am a loser at memorising words makes everything so hard if you want me to remember the entire 4 minutes speech. Although I am quite good at memorising numbers, so I have no problem with cramping 10 different phone numbers in my head. But that isn’t much of a help when you are doing English presentations. So I’m a real screw up, I’ll admit that.
I have 3 exams in total. Maths B, English & Home Economics. Out of the 3, I think the one that I’m most likely to fail is…ALL OF THEM. I’m an epic fail, that’s for sure. Everyone get ready to watch me get slice-and-dice by my dad by the end of this term!
YuMi
7:16 PM
Monday, August 24, 2009
♥ The Queen of mass destruction!
I am the Queen of mass destruction! I finally realised that today, that I should never go anywhere near fragile objects.
We were playing with molecule models in Chemistry today. One of those black, white and red gigantic beady looking thing that you connect together to make a compound like ethanol, polymers, etc, etc. First we started off with group work, so we each got a kit among the small groups and did all sorts of weird shapes. Then Mr Wallace aka Wally started calling individuals to go up and put together the models in the front desk to the right compound. When I got called, I went to the front bench and tried to pull off hydrogen from the acid so that I can bond it with the alcohol models but my butter fingers slipped and the left hand swung back against a flask. Of course, a glass flask can never stand against the pressure of a hand that is full of potential energy. So the kinetic energy got transferred from my left hand to the flask and it sent the flask flying across the desk and eventually off the bench. The loud “clank” drummed in my ears. The class in front of me instantly went into a chaos, at that moment I was praying in my mind that the teacher isn’t going to make me pay for the damage. Wally told me to carry on while he cleaned up the mess. I quickly shove the molecule models together in the right position and scampered off the front bench. As I walked pass the rows of desks Darleen turned around to face me and said “Good job, Jenny!” I gave her sarcastic thanks as the reply. No one mentioned anything for the rest of the afternoon, I was glad!
So if you have anything a little bit fragile, don’t put it anywhere near me. Because the chances are I will somehow destroy it. I’m not just clumsy; I’m also a magnet of bad luck.
YuMi
We were playing with molecule models in Chemistry today. One of those black, white and red gigantic beady looking thing that you connect together to make a compound like ethanol, polymers, etc, etc. First we started off with group work, so we each got a kit among the small groups and did all sorts of weird shapes. Then Mr Wallace aka Wally started calling individuals to go up and put together the models in the front desk to the right compound. When I got called, I went to the front bench and tried to pull off hydrogen from the acid so that I can bond it with the alcohol models but my butter fingers slipped and the left hand swung back against a flask. Of course, a glass flask can never stand against the pressure of a hand that is full of potential energy. So the kinetic energy got transferred from my left hand to the flask and it sent the flask flying across the desk and eventually off the bench. The loud “clank” drummed in my ears. The class in front of me instantly went into a chaos, at that moment I was praying in my mind that the teacher isn’t going to make me pay for the damage. Wally told me to carry on while he cleaned up the mess. I quickly shove the molecule models together in the right position and scampered off the front bench. As I walked pass the rows of desks Darleen turned around to face me and said “Good job, Jenny!” I gave her sarcastic thanks as the reply. No one mentioned anything for the rest of the afternoon, I was glad!
So if you have anything a little bit fragile, don’t put it anywhere near me. Because the chances are I will somehow destroy it. I’m not just clumsy; I’m also a magnet of bad luck.
YuMi
Labels: destruction
5:41 PM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
♥ Hot winter... early summer?
As far as I can remember, we’re still in winter. If you don’t agree with me you must be living on the other side of earth. But the thing is… why is it so damn hot today?
Like usual Sundays, I woke up at around 3:30am. The weather was still pretty nice then, there were a bit of cool breeze. When it got towards the afternoon, the temperature was rising like the rise of the house price in Brisbane. It was so hot that I fell asleep ten o’clock in the morning leaving my mum to look after the stall all by herself. When I woke up I saw the guy who was next to us yelling his lung out under the hot sun to sell his ‘all-in-1 cleaner’. His stall has no cover at all and I was surprised that he wasn’t sweating a bit. People have gathered around his stall even though the sun is burning their skin. On the other hand, mum and I are out of energy to even stand up when customers show up. We see people walk past with ice-creams in their hands, some have cold drinks. I suddenly felt so dehydrated (probably from eating too much pop-corn); I ended up gargling down about 300mL of water at once. The water was slightly warm & not very hydrating. When it was time to pack up, I took about 5 minutes to life up some energy to drag myself from the car to the table.
According to the weather forecast, the highest temperature tomorrow that reaches 33 degrees Celsius. If you want me pick a favourite season, it’d have to be winter. The reason being that in winter you can wear more clothes to keep warm while in summer you can be naked but that still won’t get rid of the heat and the use of air conditioner just heat up the Earth into a gigantic oven. You can go swimming in a pool or go to the beach but the minute you get out of water the heat just takes over, not to mention skin cancer getting involved. So the conclusion is, I HATE SUMMER!!!
YuMi
Like usual Sundays, I woke up at around 3:30am. The weather was still pretty nice then, there were a bit of cool breeze. When it got towards the afternoon, the temperature was rising like the rise of the house price in Brisbane. It was so hot that I fell asleep ten o’clock in the morning leaving my mum to look after the stall all by herself. When I woke up I saw the guy who was next to us yelling his lung out under the hot sun to sell his ‘all-in-1 cleaner’. His stall has no cover at all and I was surprised that he wasn’t sweating a bit. People have gathered around his stall even though the sun is burning their skin. On the other hand, mum and I are out of energy to even stand up when customers show up. We see people walk past with ice-creams in their hands, some have cold drinks. I suddenly felt so dehydrated (probably from eating too much pop-corn); I ended up gargling down about 300mL of water at once. The water was slightly warm & not very hydrating. When it was time to pack up, I took about 5 minutes to life up some energy to drag myself from the car to the table.
According to the weather forecast, the highest temperature tomorrow that reaches 33 degrees Celsius. If you want me pick a favourite season, it’d have to be winter. The reason being that in winter you can wear more clothes to keep warm while in summer you can be naked but that still won’t get rid of the heat and the use of air conditioner just heat up the Earth into a gigantic oven. You can go swimming in a pool or go to the beach but the minute you get out of water the heat just takes over, not to mention skin cancer getting involved. So the conclusion is, I HATE SUMMER!!!
YuMi
8:04 PM
Saturday, August 15, 2009
♥ Body function is f**ked up!
I've never been on a diet to lose weight, because I love food. But ever since Wednesday, I've somehow lost my interests in food completely.... WHICH leads me to have already loss 3 kg. For some reason I just don't feel hungry at all! and my mum thought I was getting anorexic~
On Wednesday, all I ate was a caramel pudding (not very healthy I know). I was home alone on that day so no one realised anything, they thought I've ate too much all day that I've decided to skip dinner.
On Thursday I skipped breakkie because I have to take my grandma to the dentist and be the translator for her. My cousin George forced me to drink a regular pearl milk tea before noon which I almost vomited out later in the afternoon. I later use the milk tea reason to say that I don't want to eat dinner at my grandma's place.
Went out with Darleen on Friday & actually ate something that she'd bought from KFC and couldn't finish it all by herself. I bought a bottle of water and survived the day just with 600ml of H2O. I gave an excuse of already ate to skip another set of dinner, which was pasta.
Today when I woke up my whole body felt tired. I was so strengthless that I couldn't even get out of my bed under the weight of my blanket. Took me almost 20 minutes to finally struggle out of the bed. I've never so felt tired before and I'd realise that since I haven't ate any proper meal for 3 days that my body just doesn't have enough energy to function. I've decided to force down a small bowl cereal hoping that I'd be able to stay normal for the rest of the day including the tutorial class I have in the afternoon. Wrong! When I got to my grandma's house this morning I puked out the cereal & milk. Later on every time I sat down I either don't have to strength to stand up again or stand and fell on my knees. But I did manage to survive tutorial class, my mum wouldn't let me go first because she was just so paranoid and have the idea that I was going to faint!
I'm not starving myself! Just not hungry and not in the mood to eat anything. Of course. not eating isn't the only reason that I'm so drained & sleepy today. I didn't sleep much for 3 night in a role and don't ask me why, I don't even know why after a long day shopping and walking around the City yesterday still didn't wear me out like it's suppose to.
YuMi
On Wednesday, all I ate was a caramel pudding (not very healthy I know). I was home alone on that day so no one realised anything, they thought I've ate too much all day that I've decided to skip dinner.
On Thursday I skipped breakkie because I have to take my grandma to the dentist and be the translator for her. My cousin George forced me to drink a regular pearl milk tea before noon which I almost vomited out later in the afternoon. I later use the milk tea reason to say that I don't want to eat dinner at my grandma's place.
Went out with Darleen on Friday & actually ate something that she'd bought from KFC and couldn't finish it all by herself. I bought a bottle of water and survived the day just with 600ml of H2O. I gave an excuse of already ate to skip another set of dinner, which was pasta.
Today when I woke up my whole body felt tired. I was so strengthless that I couldn't even get out of my bed under the weight of my blanket. Took me almost 20 minutes to finally struggle out of the bed. I've never so felt tired before and I'd realise that since I haven't ate any proper meal for 3 days that my body just doesn't have enough energy to function. I've decided to force down a small bowl cereal hoping that I'd be able to stay normal for the rest of the day including the tutorial class I have in the afternoon. Wrong! When I got to my grandma's house this morning I puked out the cereal & milk. Later on every time I sat down I either don't have to strength to stand up again or stand and fell on my knees. But I did manage to survive tutorial class, my mum wouldn't let me go first because she was just so paranoid and have the idea that I was going to faint!
I'm not starving myself! Just not hungry and not in the mood to eat anything. Of course. not eating isn't the only reason that I'm so drained & sleepy today. I didn't sleep much for 3 night in a role and don't ask me why, I don't even know why after a long day shopping and walking around the City yesterday still didn't wear me out like it's suppose to.
YuMi
3:54 PM
Friday, August 14, 2009
♥ A long day~
One thing I hate about going to the City is that I have to walk a lot to get from place to place, especially when I’m wearing shoes that gives me blisters (I’ve learnt my lesson! Never go shopping in the City when wearing new shoes).
Darleen kind of the leader of the mini trio, she goes wherever and does whatever she wants and Josh & I tagged along. We got rid of Josh half way so the Chinese-mix-English conversation was no longer a problem. As I mentioned in the intro, I did a hell of a lot of walking today. The places we’ve travelled are in the following order: Garden City, City, Big W, Daily Planet, Zoom, Big W again, Sense Q, Korean Market & finally JB HI-5. Believe me the shoes were killing me!
Darleen kind of the leader of the mini trio, she goes wherever and does whatever she wants and Josh & I tagged along. We got rid of Josh half way so the Chinese-mix-English conversation was no longer a problem. As I mentioned in the intro, I did a hell of a lot of walking today. The places we’ve travelled are in the following order: Garden City, City, Big W, Daily Planet, Zoom, Big W again, Sense Q, Korean Market & finally JB HI-5. Believe me the shoes were killing me!
We took 4 sets of photos, 2 from each place (Zoom & Sense Q). As you can see from the pictures, some of them look quite retarded, especially with the ones at Zoom, already regretting *sigh* I thought Sense shouldn't have quite a much peope today since not that many school has got Friday off too for the Ekka break but for some reason the place was filled with Asian chicks. Since there were only 3 machines, waiting in a small cramped area filled with people was essential. The machines now have time limit where as it didn't used to be. On the other hand, Zoom was quite empty... not to mention much more expensive. The good thing was the decorating time wasn't limited! (Click on photo to see full size!)
After I got to granny's house I took the dog for a walk/run. I let her off the leash like I did yesterday thinking that she'll come back, back she keeps running off to the bush area and I freaked out. If it weren't for Chao who happend to found a tennis ball (Kuro is addicted to anything that's round and brightly coloured) and we've manage to get her back~ The dog got attacked by a lot of birds & she thought they were playing with her (xD)
So that was pretty much it I want to say about this super-long weekend!
=]
YuMi
10:21 PM
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
♥ Good or bad?
I'm not sure if I regret ending it. Since yesterday afternoon, everyone has been calling him names and telling me that it isn't worth it. They said not to think about it and just focus on something else, easy to say but much much harder to do.
Just when thought I'd cry enough, tears well up again. It hasn't even been a full day, but I already want to take back all the words I've said. I didn't get much sleep last night, for some reason I was perfectly conscious. I stayed up pretty much the whole night thinking, and when I finally felt like sleeping my alarm broke the silence in my mind. It was 6 in the morning, not a good time to cry but as soon as I turned on my mp3 my heart ached. Sometimes it's just so scary that songs can describe your exact situation, it's scary that it can pinpoint how you feel and lyrics that says what you wanted to say perfectly. I cried silently while listening to the lyrics, mouthing the words when I know them. I thought I was going emo, or maybe I am! I was too desperate, too weak... And getting no sleep isn't enough, I have lost all my appetite for the day~!
I thought I'd go out for a walk today, clear my mind for a bit. Joshua (who used to be my neighbour) had told me on msn last night that he'll meet up with me today and have a chat to make me feel better. I thought...why not? So we walked around the park behind the town house and he was tried his best to talk me out of my misery. But it didn't seem to work so he took a packet of poker cards out of his pocket and did some magic trick. And I was so amazed at what he could do that I'd forgotten all about what had happened yesterday. He'd let me draw a random card, then I look at it, put it behind my back. And then he'd know what card it is just by looking in my eyes... Yes I was pretty surprised. He did a tons of others like spread the card out randomly facing down and predict the card I'm going to pick. So I was pretty distracted for the day, felt much better =D
Thank you to those who've support me and talked to me to make me feel better. I don't know if this is it good or bad? This break up made me realise how many friends around me really care about me. I feel even more loved than before~! x3
Thank you so much~:
Just when thought I'd cry enough, tears well up again. It hasn't even been a full day, but I already want to take back all the words I've said. I didn't get much sleep last night, for some reason I was perfectly conscious. I stayed up pretty much the whole night thinking, and when I finally felt like sleeping my alarm broke the silence in my mind. It was 6 in the morning, not a good time to cry but as soon as I turned on my mp3 my heart ached. Sometimes it's just so scary that songs can describe your exact situation, it's scary that it can pinpoint how you feel and lyrics that says what you wanted to say perfectly. I cried silently while listening to the lyrics, mouthing the words when I know them. I thought I was going emo, or maybe I am! I was too desperate, too weak... And getting no sleep isn't enough, I have lost all my appetite for the day~!
I thought I'd go out for a walk today, clear my mind for a bit. Joshua (who used to be my neighbour) had told me on msn last night that he'll meet up with me today and have a chat to make me feel better. I thought...why not? So we walked around the park behind the town house and he was tried his best to talk me out of my misery. But it didn't seem to work so he took a packet of poker cards out of his pocket and did some magic trick. And I was so amazed at what he could do that I'd forgotten all about what had happened yesterday. He'd let me draw a random card, then I look at it, put it behind my back. And then he'd know what card it is just by looking in my eyes... Yes I was pretty surprised. He did a tons of others like spread the card out randomly facing down and predict the card I'm going to pick. So I was pretty distracted for the day, felt much better =D
Thank you to those who've support me and talked to me to make me feel better. I don't know if this is it good or bad? This break up made me realise how many friends around me really care about me. I feel even more loved than before~! x3
Thank you so much~:
- Shaunna - For all your cheering talk
- Alex - For you warm hugs
- N G - For backing me up when I fall
- Michelle - For been there for me the whole time
- Penny - For letting me know that you are there
- Laura - For letting me cry in your arms.
- Darleen - For being honest with me all the time and your comedy DVD
- Mary - For the quote that make me feel better "Don't cry for a guy, let a guy cry for you. Cause girls give & forgive, but guys get & forget"
- hsinkai (Josh) - For being so kind to take a walk with me and talk me out of my misery. Also for the amazing magic card game and brightened my day.
YuMi
4:26 PM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
♥ To Chao...
I don't know whether you'd be reading this or not but the chances are probably quite low. Still, there's things I need to tell you and it's best for you to understand that I'm not giving up!
Things just happend too quickly that I just did not have time to prepare for it, and my emotions just took over me. It was just so hard for me to believe that this is actually true, because yesterday everything was just so normal. You still hugged me and held my hand as usual. But today you were a total different person. There were no emotions on your face, not even a bit of sympathy towards what you are about to do. You suddenly became a cold and heartless person. It'd shocked me... Too much that I could no longer keep myself together, too much that I needed Michelle and Laura to keep me stable. I just couldn't believe it. Afterward you acted like nothing has ever happend, maybe even better than usual. Still, I just don't understand why you don't feel anything. It's like you never even liked me...
I've shed enough tears. I'm not going to cry anymore. I'm grateful of what we've already shared and I missing everything about you already. I miss your smile, I miss your warm hand, I miss your hugs and kisses and I miss you telling me "I love you". I want to thank you for letting have such a amazing experience. You've taught me so much, you have no idea. I don't regret loving you but I do regret my childish & reckless act today. You can tell all your friends that you've dumped me... It doesn't matter.
It may be over, but not for me. I'm not letting go & I'm not giving up!
I love you... As I did in the past 5 months! Thank you...
回憶裡想起模糊的小時候 雲朵漂浮在藍藍的天空
那時的你說 要和我手牽手 一起走到時間的盡頭
從此以後我都不敢抬頭看 彷彿我的天空失去了顏色
從那一天起 我忘記了呼吸 眼淚啊永遠不再 不再哭泣
我們的愛 過了就不再回來 直到現在 我還默默的等待
我們的愛 我明白 已變成你的負擔
只是永遠 我都放不開 最後的溫暖 你給的溫暖
YuMi
Things just happend too quickly that I just did not have time to prepare for it, and my emotions just took over me. It was just so hard for me to believe that this is actually true, because yesterday everything was just so normal. You still hugged me and held my hand as usual. But today you were a total different person. There were no emotions on your face, not even a bit of sympathy towards what you are about to do. You suddenly became a cold and heartless person. It'd shocked me... Too much that I could no longer keep myself together, too much that I needed Michelle and Laura to keep me stable. I just couldn't believe it. Afterward you acted like nothing has ever happend, maybe even better than usual. Still, I just don't understand why you don't feel anything. It's like you never even liked me...
I've shed enough tears. I'm not going to cry anymore. I'm grateful of what we've already shared and I missing everything about you already. I miss your smile, I miss your warm hand, I miss your hugs and kisses and I miss you telling me "I love you". I want to thank you for letting have such a amazing experience. You've taught me so much, you have no idea. I don't regret loving you but I do regret my childish & reckless act today. You can tell all your friends that you've dumped me... It doesn't matter.
It may be over, but not for me. I'm not letting go & I'm not giving up!
I love you... As I did in the past 5 months! Thank you...
回憶裡想起模糊的小時候 雲朵漂浮在藍藍的天空
那時的你說 要和我手牽手 一起走到時間的盡頭
從此以後我都不敢抬頭看 彷彿我的天空失去了顏色
從那一天起 我忘記了呼吸 眼淚啊永遠不再 不再哭泣
我們的愛 過了就不再回來 直到現在 我還默默的等待
我們的愛 我明白 已變成你的負擔
只是永遠 我都放不開 最後的溫暖 你給的溫暖
YuMi
4:16 PM
Saturday, August 1, 2009
♥ Jealousy & Hatred
As humans, we are envious of those who are better than us in certain ways or have things that we want. We get jealous especially when it comes to relationships. If this jealousy stays with you for too long, it can turn into hatred!
I have to admit that I’m the kind if person that gets jealous at a click. Mainly because I am quite selfish but sometimes it’s because I tend to think too much in the negative direction. Now if you know me well enough you’d know exactly what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t get all irritated when Chao talks to girls that I know & have spoken to but if it’s someone I don’t really know, then I will get very annoyed (this applies especially to all the girls he used to have a crush on). It seems to me that I have a grudge against every girl he’s ever liked which means ALL of the Asian chicks in his grade (No, he is not racist. It’s just his taste). Of course, Chao had tried to convince me countless times that they’re only friends. But I can’t help it when it’s part of my emotions. It’s just something that comes naturally when you have a person who you love and cherish. You get jealous because you are afraid. You’re afraid of losing your love to another person who appears to be better quality than you in both looks and personalities.
Sometimes, jealousy can turn into hatred. So far I have managed myself well enough not to allow my little grudge become a big hate. We all know what hatred can lead to; bitching, violent and war (and I’m not at all interested in a cat fight). When we hate someone, we’re the only one that suffers. Unless that person hates you back, they are unaffected by your revulsion against them. On the other hand, you gain nothing out of this but misery and sometimes it can just ruin your day when you see that person talking to your friends. I used to hate someone, that person just irritates me so much that every time I see her my mood just goes bad. It wasn’t until that person left the school that I came to realise there was no point of me hating her. I realise I was just trying to conform with the rest of class who had disliked her one way or the other. I really don’t have a reason to hate her as long as she doesn’t bother me!
The point is, yes we do get jealous and yes the jealousy does occasionally become hates. After all, we’re only humans and these things just come naturally. But just keep in mind it’s no where near beneficial for you to hate another person, you’re the only one that suffers. Set that hatred free, and trust me, you’ll be free too!
YuMi
I have to admit that I’m the kind if person that gets jealous at a click. Mainly because I am quite selfish but sometimes it’s because I tend to think too much in the negative direction. Now if you know me well enough you’d know exactly what I’m trying to tell you. I don’t get all irritated when Chao talks to girls that I know & have spoken to but if it’s someone I don’t really know, then I will get very annoyed (this applies especially to all the girls he used to have a crush on). It seems to me that I have a grudge against every girl he’s ever liked which means ALL of the Asian chicks in his grade (No, he is not racist. It’s just his taste). Of course, Chao had tried to convince me countless times that they’re only friends. But I can’t help it when it’s part of my emotions. It’s just something that comes naturally when you have a person who you love and cherish. You get jealous because you are afraid. You’re afraid of losing your love to another person who appears to be better quality than you in both looks and personalities.
Sometimes, jealousy can turn into hatred. So far I have managed myself well enough not to allow my little grudge become a big hate. We all know what hatred can lead to; bitching, violent and war (and I’m not at all interested in a cat fight). When we hate someone, we’re the only one that suffers. Unless that person hates you back, they are unaffected by your revulsion against them. On the other hand, you gain nothing out of this but misery and sometimes it can just ruin your day when you see that person talking to your friends. I used to hate someone, that person just irritates me so much that every time I see her my mood just goes bad. It wasn’t until that person left the school that I came to realise there was no point of me hating her. I realise I was just trying to conform with the rest of class who had disliked her one way or the other. I really don’t have a reason to hate her as long as she doesn’t bother me!
The point is, yes we do get jealous and yes the jealousy does occasionally become hates. After all, we’re only humans and these things just come naturally. But just keep in mind it’s no where near beneficial for you to hate another person, you’re the only one that suffers. Set that hatred free, and trust me, you’ll be free too!
YuMi
5:33 PM
