Wednesday, July 29, 2009
♥ It's like putting salt on the wound...
Some people talk so blunt that they’d hurting the others without realizing it. Some people make complaints unaware that they may have severely offended someone around them.
Of course, for most of the time it is not their intension to hurt or offend others with there mindless little speech. But I seriously think they need to consider what they are going to say before saying it out loud for all to hear. As a victim of careless talks, I’ve come across (for most of the time) stuff that is against Asians… Indeed there are still many racist people around us. I’m just glad it’s not as bad as it was during the 1930’s (aka The Great Depression) where Westerners was the highest class of all race and hold the power to almost everything. This still occurs in today’s society sometimes, only in a different shape and form.
Anyway, back to the original topic. Words that use to mean one simple thing are now used to offense others, words like ‘fried rice’, ‘soy sauce’ & ‘Made in China’ are commonly use against Asians. Excuse me everyone, at lease Asians created better food than you guys. I bet there’s none of you guys who doesn’t like sushi and another thing, the Made in China only applies to Chinese people (xD). I’m not saying all these just because I’m the most awesome Asian (>:3), I’m only giving you examples. What I personally hate the most is that some people make it a stereotype that all Asians have small eyes and most of you should still remember Miley Cyrus’ photo shoot of Asian eyes. People, saying that can really do a lot of damage and you guys, really need to realise small eyes only apply to Koreans!!! (Ironic much? =P).
Words can do more damage than weapons. Physical injuries will heal eventually (if it’s not fatal, that is) but damages on the inside sometimes won’t heal at all and that is why emotional problems like depression exist which then leads to drug, alcohol & even hurting others or themselves. It is shocking what a little careless comment can do to a person’s heart. So please, if you are one of those people who have absolutely no brain, shut the hell up! If you must say it, go say it somewhere else or say it to a mirror. Trust me, you won’t lose anything. The point is that you don’t hurt other people.
P.S: for me to write this crap is quite ironic, for I, am one of those careless and brainless person myself. xP
YuMi
Of course, for most of the time it is not their intension to hurt or offend others with there mindless little speech. But I seriously think they need to consider what they are going to say before saying it out loud for all to hear. As a victim of careless talks, I’ve come across (for most of the time) stuff that is against Asians… Indeed there are still many racist people around us. I’m just glad it’s not as bad as it was during the 1930’s (aka The Great Depression) where Westerners was the highest class of all race and hold the power to almost everything. This still occurs in today’s society sometimes, only in a different shape and form.
Anyway, back to the original topic. Words that use to mean one simple thing are now used to offense others, words like ‘fried rice’, ‘soy sauce’ & ‘Made in China’ are commonly use against Asians. Excuse me everyone, at lease Asians created better food than you guys. I bet there’s none of you guys who doesn’t like sushi and another thing, the Made in China only applies to Chinese people (xD). I’m not saying all these just because I’m the most awesome Asian (>:3), I’m only giving you examples. What I personally hate the most is that some people make it a stereotype that all Asians have small eyes and most of you should still remember Miley Cyrus’ photo shoot of Asian eyes. People, saying that can really do a lot of damage and you guys, really need to realise small eyes only apply to Koreans!!! (Ironic much? =P).
Words can do more damage than weapons. Physical injuries will heal eventually (if it’s not fatal, that is) but damages on the inside sometimes won’t heal at all and that is why emotional problems like depression exist which then leads to drug, alcohol & even hurting others or themselves. It is shocking what a little careless comment can do to a person’s heart. So please, if you are one of those people who have absolutely no brain, shut the hell up! If you must say it, go say it somewhere else or say it to a mirror. Trust me, you won’t lose anything. The point is that you don’t hurt other people.
P.S: for me to write this crap is quite ironic, for I, am one of those careless and brainless person myself. xP
YuMi
6:28 PM
Thursday, July 23, 2009
♥ Fear
My biggest fear isn’t cockroach, they do look disgusting but I do occasionally have the courage to spray deodorant on them. It isn’t darkness; in fact I like the dark. It isn’t death; we’re all going to die one day anyway so there really is no point fearing all day that you’re getting closer and closer to it. My worst fear… is losing those who are precious to me, those who I love and care about.
1. N G – I promised to stay with you as long as you want me. I, too, fear of losing you. I love you!
1. N G – I promised to stay with you as long as you want me. I, too, fear of losing you. I love you!
2. Shaunna – the first person to show me that I belong. What would my world be like without you?
3. Chao – my love and my life. Life isn’t perfect, but you are! iFly~x3
4. Michelle – supported me all the way, never stopped believing in me. You are the saint that led me to victory. ily precious~!
5. Penny – the chamber of secret, keeps everything I said. Your words made me realised what a big idiot I am. Love ya~~! 
Losing any one of them is what I don’t want. Losing any one of them, means the end of my world and my life. Losing any one of them… is my fear over death!
P.S: Penny & Shaunna... Sorry for stealing pictures off your bebo (>"<)
YuMi
5:00 PM
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
♥ #21,JULY;O'Nine - B.A.C Athletics Carnival!
Running, jumping, throwing/chucking and cheering/screaming, such a nice whether for a special sporting events like this. Yes, today was our school’s athletics carnival. And yes I did participate in most of the events instead of just sitting there and did almost like the girls who were playing with my camera until it died.
There were definitely more participants this year (great job, everyone =D) which made it easier for me. Thanks to Stephanie I did not become the ‘only’ last place in each event. I did –takes big breath in-… 100m, 200m, 400m, discus, shot-put, javelin and long jump. Stephanie did everything with me (thank goodness) and I was pretty bad at almost everything. Chao was going to do everything but he ended up changing his mind and didn’t do high jump (the one I was looking forward the most), 200m and 400m. Adrian was going to do everything but you know, small accidents happen. He pulled his leg muscles in high jump and missed out on the 1500m and 400m which I thought he probably has a pretty good chance of winning. Of course, there were also a dozen of people who like to wag on this day and yes I am going to name because they should feel ashamed of themselves… Michelle (Adrian was disappointed), Darleen (yeah), Selina (hmm), Wendy (mm), Laura (OMG), Robert (WTF?!) and a handful of others. Now to think about it, I can’t really point my finger at others since I did wag last year as well (but that was last year!).
Anyway, now let’s talk about how I went in each event (in details). As I was saying, I came last in almost everything but at least I wasn’t alone~!
First up was the 100 metre sprint. I jogged it… came last!
Second, javelin. I came pretty much among the last 3… fail!
Third, 200 metres sprint. For some reason I’ve decided do bolt but didn’t end up getting a place anyway… came 4th!
Forth, discus. I almost killed someone because I chucked the disk in the wrong direction… -sigh-
Fifth, 400m run. I did absolutely crap in that one… epic fail!
Next, long jump. As expected, I fouled and got my shoes filled with sand and I almost tripped while I was running.
Last, shot-put/throwing some heavy ball. I almost dislocated my shoulder and while others did better in their 2nd and 3rd attempt than their 1st, I did worse… sport is really not my thing~!
So yeah, I failed everything on the overall base and was screaming ‘GO GREEN’ most of the time. Well, the point is, we won anyway while gold and red fought hard for the 2nd place. Chao went in the 1500m and the relay. Adrian and I were screaming our lungs out from the top row everything time Chao comes around when he did the 1500. The green boys did a little war cry just before the relay and I have to admit it kind of reminded me of the New Zealand Hakka (not that it’s bad) and it was a bit… strange! Ph by the way, the photo below is the photo that was taken by the girls who killed the battery of my camera so I didn’t get to take some photo myself… -sigh-
<<< Sorry about the block out... Just in case if the person doesn't want her photo on my page, at least people won't know who it is :P
YuMi
There were definitely more participants this year (great job, everyone =D) which made it easier for me. Thanks to Stephanie I did not become the ‘only’ last place in each event. I did –takes big breath in-… 100m, 200m, 400m, discus, shot-put, javelin and long jump. Stephanie did everything with me (thank goodness) and I was pretty bad at almost everything. Chao was going to do everything but he ended up changing his mind and didn’t do high jump (the one I was looking forward the most), 200m and 400m. Adrian was going to do everything but you know, small accidents happen. He pulled his leg muscles in high jump and missed out on the 1500m and 400m which I thought he probably has a pretty good chance of winning. Of course, there were also a dozen of people who like to wag on this day and yes I am going to name because they should feel ashamed of themselves… Michelle (Adrian was disappointed), Darleen (yeah), Selina (hmm), Wendy (mm), Laura (OMG), Robert (WTF?!) and a handful of others. Now to think about it, I can’t really point my finger at others since I did wag last year as well (but that was last year!).
Anyway, now let’s talk about how I went in each event (in details). As I was saying, I came last in almost everything but at least I wasn’t alone~!
First up was the 100 metre sprint. I jogged it… came last!
Second, javelin. I came pretty much among the last 3… fail!
Third, 200 metres sprint. For some reason I’ve decided do bolt but didn’t end up getting a place anyway… came 4th!
Forth, discus. I almost killed someone because I chucked the disk in the wrong direction… -sigh-
Fifth, 400m run. I did absolutely crap in that one… epic fail!
Next, long jump. As expected, I fouled and got my shoes filled with sand and I almost tripped while I was running.
Last, shot-put/throwing some heavy ball. I almost dislocated my shoulder and while others did better in their 2nd and 3rd attempt than their 1st, I did worse… sport is really not my thing~!
So yeah, I failed everything on the overall base and was screaming ‘GO GREEN’ most of the time. Well, the point is, we won anyway while gold and red fought hard for the 2nd place. Chao went in the 1500m and the relay. Adrian and I were screaming our lungs out from the top row everything time Chao comes around when he did the 1500. The green boys did a little war cry just before the relay and I have to admit it kind of reminded me of the New Zealand Hakka (not that it’s bad) and it was a bit… strange! Ph by the way, the photo below is the photo that was taken by the girls who killed the battery of my camera so I didn’t get to take some photo myself… -sigh-
<<< Sorry about the block out... Just in case if the person doesn't want her photo on my page, at least people won't know who it is :PYuMi
Labels: sport
6:01 PM
Sunday, July 19, 2009
♥ Let go, move on... give up?
There’s big difference between creatures that can think and creatures that can’t (and no, the difference if not that one is dumber than the other). If you are a creature that can’t think deeply, then you have nothing to worry about. You’d be more carefree and can do anything without any regret. On the other hand, if you are the thinking-creature, then life is much harder. You have to make decisions, and while making that decision you’ve got to consider many different things. Every new day you have to choose, big and small matters. I think one of the hardest decision that us as humans have to make is that we must decide whether it’s time to let go certain things that we cherish and to move on. But me… I remained in the same spot, never let go, never move on… and never give up (if you know what I’m talking about!)
Is it bad? Is it wrong? People that give you advices kept telling you that you have to learn to let go, for some reason (maybe my gut-feeling) I was the stubborn one. Now to think about it, if I’d let go in the first place, I doubt I would be able to be anywhere as happy as I am now. The possibility is dating another guy that I don’t give a sh*t about. If I’d let go, sooner or later I’ll know I’ve made a mistake… a big mistake. I can turn around, look back and realise what a big idiot I am. Even though I knew clear as glass in my mind that it’s only the matter of time until I have to move on to something else, I didn’t. I didn’t because I don’t want to. I didn’t want to give up someone that made me feel loved and special. I refuse to forget about the person who shares the happiest moment of my life with me. And because I didn’t let go and move on, things became better… much better. The thing is, it will hurt and you will suffer. But if you keep fighting, if you never back down, you will get what you fight for and the even better than you have expected. The more you fight, the better you deserve.
You let go because you want to, not because you have to. Because it can only cause yourself pain and misery. Keep one fighting, every moment. You can only win when you don’t give up; it may seem hopeless but trust me, believe in yourself and the victory shall be yours.
YuMi
Is it bad? Is it wrong? People that give you advices kept telling you that you have to learn to let go, for some reason (maybe my gut-feeling) I was the stubborn one. Now to think about it, if I’d let go in the first place, I doubt I would be able to be anywhere as happy as I am now. The possibility is dating another guy that I don’t give a sh*t about. If I’d let go, sooner or later I’ll know I’ve made a mistake… a big mistake. I can turn around, look back and realise what a big idiot I am. Even though I knew clear as glass in my mind that it’s only the matter of time until I have to move on to something else, I didn’t. I didn’t because I don’t want to. I didn’t want to give up someone that made me feel loved and special. I refuse to forget about the person who shares the happiest moment of my life with me. And because I didn’t let go and move on, things became better… much better. The thing is, it will hurt and you will suffer. But if you keep fighting, if you never back down, you will get what you fight for and the even better than you have expected. The more you fight, the better you deserve.
You let go because you want to, not because you have to. Because it can only cause yourself pain and misery. Keep one fighting, every moment. You can only win when you don’t give up; it may seem hopeless but trust me, believe in yourself and the victory shall be yours.
YuMi
7:35 PM
Monday, July 13, 2009
♥ Back on track >:3
Alright everyone! It’ back to school and back to work! And I’m sure you’re all looking forward to another term of horrible homework and assignments. First day back, saw many new things. Saw Chao’s new funky and Asian-styled haircut, saw Robert’s new disgusting scars and wounds on his hands, saw my precious Michelle happily in love and saw a new student in my class who I don’t know the name of.
Plenty of things are coming up in the next 2 weeks, nothing stressful yet. First of all, my lovely Shaunna’s Sweet 16 is this Wednesday and I’ve bought a beautiful pressie for her. Just in case if she is reading this, I’m not going to spoil the surprise by saying what the present is. But still, happy 16th birthday Shaunna!
Second, athletics carnival will be held in the beginning of next week for everyone at B.A.C. I probably won’t do anything on this day but mind you I will still be there since I kind of disappointed Chao by wagging team sports day and missed out on him playing basketball against other schools. Best of luck to anyone who is planning on grabbing a couple of points for their houses by coming first in any of the events. And one more thing… GO GREEN/FRASER!!!
Next, school photo day next Friday. I’m still debating whether to wag that day or not since every year the photo gets crappier! And I still don’t understand why they’d charge you for getting a photo of yourself. Besides, don’t we all get sick of saying ‘cheese’, ‘hotdogs’ and ‘holidays’ on this event each year? Not to mention those guys who have a phobia of looking at the lens of the camera so they either look in the other direction or shut their eyes/blink. For those who never smile in photos, smile! Do you realise that your frowning face makes you look like you are constipating?
Finally, my first ever driving lesson is this Friday morning. I will try my best not to drive into trees or run over anyone/any living things with the manual car I’ll be driving. If I do unfortunately kill myself, please come to my funeral (if there is going to be one) and say things that you’ve always wanted to say to me but never have the gut or chance to do so, whether it’s ‘I really hate you’ or ‘go to hell’~!
So that’s all from me for now~ Tune in next time for more of my boring blab =D
YuMi
Plenty of things are coming up in the next 2 weeks, nothing stressful yet. First of all, my lovely Shaunna’s Sweet 16 is this Wednesday and I’ve bought a beautiful pressie for her. Just in case if she is reading this, I’m not going to spoil the surprise by saying what the present is. But still, happy 16th birthday Shaunna!
Second, athletics carnival will be held in the beginning of next week for everyone at B.A.C. I probably won’t do anything on this day but mind you I will still be there since I kind of disappointed Chao by wagging team sports day and missed out on him playing basketball against other schools. Best of luck to anyone who is planning on grabbing a couple of points for their houses by coming first in any of the events. And one more thing… GO GREEN/FRASER!!!
Next, school photo day next Friday. I’m still debating whether to wag that day or not since every year the photo gets crappier! And I still don’t understand why they’d charge you for getting a photo of yourself. Besides, don’t we all get sick of saying ‘cheese’, ‘hotdogs’ and ‘holidays’ on this event each year? Not to mention those guys who have a phobia of looking at the lens of the camera so they either look in the other direction or shut their eyes/blink. For those who never smile in photos, smile! Do you realise that your frowning face makes you look like you are constipating?
Finally, my first ever driving lesson is this Friday morning. I will try my best not to drive into trees or run over anyone/any living things with the manual car I’ll be driving. If I do unfortunately kill myself, please come to my funeral (if there is going to be one) and say things that you’ve always wanted to say to me but never have the gut or chance to do so, whether it’s ‘I really hate you’ or ‘go to hell’~!
So that’s all from me for now~ Tune in next time for more of my boring blab =D
YuMi
5:24 PM
Sunday, July 12, 2009
♥ Born to be dumb!
Recently, I’ve started to wonder, wondering why I’m such a good-at-nothing and good-for-nothing loser. I know that life can never go smoothly, I know that in reality there is no such thing as a happily ever after and I know that big and small hurdles come around every now and then. But I also wonder why I always get the crappiest part of all.
2 weeks holiday, I’ve achieved almost nothing (except for eat and sleep). Everyday just feel so long while I wait for my school report to arrive at my letter box. It didn’t arrive until Friday during the second week of holiday. My dad saw it before I did, but to my surprise he didn’t raise his voice at all when he told me my grades. The results were horrendous, as I have expected knowing that I did not work hard enough throughout the last semester. The highest was a B+ (in English, surprise much?), the worst was a D- and everything else is somewhere in between. I felt like as if I had gone back to the first semester of grade 8, but more horrible. I couldn’t even tell myself ‘it could have been worse’ like I always do. I questioned myself if I really could get any worse.
After I took a small glance at it, dad took it away and never said another word to me. The look in his eyes clearly shows frustration and disappointment, he didn’t even want to look at me. It was like I was very disgusting to look at, and then the whole family started to ignore me just like that. The first time to be ignored and hated by my own family, the first time being looked down by my own family and the first time to want to run out of the house and disappear in this world forever. This was something I have never even imagined, but it was the truth and it’s happening.
I’ve always regret doing certain things in my daily lives. This, would have to be the biggest regret I have done myself. I regret not working hard enough. I regret not listening to my friend’s advice and now I’ve disappointed not only myself but also those who cared about me. I’ve shocked everyone, especially my dad. Now he sighs whenever I’m around. He was showing me that I don’t deserve to be in this family where everyone is a genius where as I the dumb black sheep.
About an hour after I’ve seen the report, dad said he wanted to talk to me. I was fully prepared for his big lecture and scold (or at lease I thought so) after knowing a couple of my final grades during the last week of semester 1. I knew undoubtedly what kinds of examples and words of wisdom he would say and I was ready to say something back. But strangely, my lips were sealed right up after his first question ‘why are you so useless?’ Big droplets of tears welled up in my eyes and slid down my face before I can hold it back. All I could do was nod and shake my head to his questions. I had told myself countless times to stay strong when my tears are about to escape from my sight. But I realized that I’m just weak and pathetic that the same thing repeats itself no matter how many times I replicate the words in my mind.
I did this to myself, I admit that. I didn’t work hard enough, I admit that. I had disappointed my family and lost respect from them because I did not achieve the best result that my ability could accomplish. I’m merely a burden to everyone around me, a pathetic loser.
YuMi
2 weeks holiday, I’ve achieved almost nothing (except for eat and sleep). Everyday just feel so long while I wait for my school report to arrive at my letter box. It didn’t arrive until Friday during the second week of holiday. My dad saw it before I did, but to my surprise he didn’t raise his voice at all when he told me my grades. The results were horrendous, as I have expected knowing that I did not work hard enough throughout the last semester. The highest was a B+ (in English, surprise much?), the worst was a D- and everything else is somewhere in between. I felt like as if I had gone back to the first semester of grade 8, but more horrible. I couldn’t even tell myself ‘it could have been worse’ like I always do. I questioned myself if I really could get any worse.
After I took a small glance at it, dad took it away and never said another word to me. The look in his eyes clearly shows frustration and disappointment, he didn’t even want to look at me. It was like I was very disgusting to look at, and then the whole family started to ignore me just like that. The first time to be ignored and hated by my own family, the first time being looked down by my own family and the first time to want to run out of the house and disappear in this world forever. This was something I have never even imagined, but it was the truth and it’s happening.
I’ve always regret doing certain things in my daily lives. This, would have to be the biggest regret I have done myself. I regret not working hard enough. I regret not listening to my friend’s advice and now I’ve disappointed not only myself but also those who cared about me. I’ve shocked everyone, especially my dad. Now he sighs whenever I’m around. He was showing me that I don’t deserve to be in this family where everyone is a genius where as I the dumb black sheep.
About an hour after I’ve seen the report, dad said he wanted to talk to me. I was fully prepared for his big lecture and scold (or at lease I thought so) after knowing a couple of my final grades during the last week of semester 1. I knew undoubtedly what kinds of examples and words of wisdom he would say and I was ready to say something back. But strangely, my lips were sealed right up after his first question ‘why are you so useless?’ Big droplets of tears welled up in my eyes and slid down my face before I can hold it back. All I could do was nod and shake my head to his questions. I had told myself countless times to stay strong when my tears are about to escape from my sight. But I realized that I’m just weak and pathetic that the same thing repeats itself no matter how many times I replicate the words in my mind.
I did this to myself, I admit that. I didn’t work hard enough, I admit that. I had disappointed my family and lost respect from them because I did not achieve the best result that my ability could accomplish. I’m merely a burden to everyone around me, a pathetic loser.
YuMi
7:04 PM
Thursday, July 2, 2009
♥ This life is a lie...
When will this end, when will you stop hurting me. I can’t take in anymore; I don’t need more pain in my wounds. If you can’t stop hurting me then please just stay away from me, let me forget the hurtful things that you have said.
You don’t even realize it but I remember almost everything you’ve said, and it’s because I care and I want to keep every little snippets of you in my memory. But all you seem to do is filling my mind with unpleasant thoughts, I want to be happy but I suffered instead. I’m trying to keep it together except that you always went on to talk about things that you know can really kill me inside. Why are you doing this? Is this a game to you? Are you making fun of me, that I’m so dumb to fall for you once and for all? If you can’t control this then please just say it, say that you don’t care about me at all. It is better to get it all over at once then to die slowly and painfully. I don’t know what your thoughts are, but the truth is as crazy as it may sound I’m being excluded. I was never there, you never even realise that you’ve never considered my feeling for a little bit when you tell me things. I’m done with putting up with all that, truth or not.
You don’t need to say sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s all me, making up my perfect love story when I know that nothing in this world is perfect. My desires are impossible to reach, my greedy thoughts put pressures on you. I’m sorry that I am so childish and pathetic, but I do love you and I do need you. I don’t like to repeat myself and repeat the same thing over and over again becomes meaningless. But if it’s a must, I’d have to repeat it again. If you don’t want me here, then please just tell me so. I can handle it… I promise.
I love you, as always.
YuMi
You don’t even realize it but I remember almost everything you’ve said, and it’s because I care and I want to keep every little snippets of you in my memory. But all you seem to do is filling my mind with unpleasant thoughts, I want to be happy but I suffered instead. I’m trying to keep it together except that you always went on to talk about things that you know can really kill me inside. Why are you doing this? Is this a game to you? Are you making fun of me, that I’m so dumb to fall for you once and for all? If you can’t control this then please just say it, say that you don’t care about me at all. It is better to get it all over at once then to die slowly and painfully. I don’t know what your thoughts are, but the truth is as crazy as it may sound I’m being excluded. I was never there, you never even realise that you’ve never considered my feeling for a little bit when you tell me things. I’m done with putting up with all that, truth or not.
You don’t need to say sorry, you’ve done nothing wrong. It’s all me, making up my perfect love story when I know that nothing in this world is perfect. My desires are impossible to reach, my greedy thoughts put pressures on you. I’m sorry that I am so childish and pathetic, but I do love you and I do need you. I don’t like to repeat myself and repeat the same thing over and over again becomes meaningless. But if it’s a must, I’d have to repeat it again. If you don’t want me here, then please just tell me so. I can handle it… I promise.
I love you, as always.
YuMi
9:11 AM
