Monday, November 30, 2009
♥ For Josh
For Joshua:
Life sucks for you. You felt like you are all alone with no one you can depend on… no one you can trust. It’s like you are surrounded by strangers. Even worse, haters…
The pressure traps you inside this little bottle, where you place all your boundaries. Where you distance yourself from others. Because you need to protect yourself. You need to protect yourself from those who hurt you, who took away your happiness and exchange it with pain & suffer. You wanted to end this all, you wanted a way out. Because you can’t run away from it, it’s part of you, part of your life. Nothing you can change. You kept hurting yourself when the pain struck, only to remind yourself that the pain is real. Since there is nothing there to stop you and no one will even notice. But think about it… what if there’s someone who doesn’t want this for you. What if there’s someone who loves and cares about you? What if hurting yourself hurts them?
I can name them… all of them. Like you said, they can be weirdoes and psychos sometimes, but they have a good heart. They care, they love. Don’t die for those who don’t care & hurt you but instead, live for those who count on you in their lives, for those who take your life seriously. Live, even though it’s hard. Live, even though it hurts. Live, for yourself, for Alex, for Corey, for Ben, for Jarrod and… for me!
YuMi
7:35 PM
第一次見面看妳 不太順眼
誰知道後來關係 那麼密切
我們一個像夏天 一個像秋天
卻總能把 冬天變成了春天
妳拖我離開一場 愛的風雪
我揹妳逃出一次 夢的斷裂
遇見一個人然後 生命全改變
原來不是 戀愛才有的情節
如果不是妳 我不會相信
朋友比情人還死心塌地
就算我忙戀愛 把妳冷凍結冰
妳也不會恨我 只是罵我幾句
如果不是妳 我不會確定
朋友比情人更懂得傾聽
我的絃外之音 我的有口無心
我離不開Darling 更離不開妳
YuMi
誰知道後來關係 那麼密切
我們一個像夏天 一個像秋天
卻總能把 冬天變成了春天
妳拖我離開一場 愛的風雪
我揹妳逃出一次 夢的斷裂
遇見一個人然後 生命全改變
原來不是 戀愛才有的情節
如果不是妳 我不會相信
朋友比情人還死心塌地
就算我忙戀愛 把妳冷凍結冰
妳也不會恨我 只是罵我幾句
如果不是妳 我不會確定
朋友比情人更懂得傾聽
我的絃外之音 我的有口無心
我離不開Darling 更離不開妳
YuMi
3:59 PM
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Heya~ Everyone!
As you may have notice I've decided to change my blogger skins because... well, the cat has gone missing in my previous skin xD.
First up, I'm turning back to bookworm this holiday~ All thanks to Damian Henley who lent me the book 'Hell Island" by Matthew Reilly, and now I'm addicted. Currently reading "Ice Station". The thing is, his book has a lot of swearing and also quite graphic in terms of blood! But hey, it's full of action as well and it doesn't give you a break. Once you pick it up, you can't put it down! =D
Okay, so as expected I went to watch New Moon *squeals*
Jacob, Jacob, JACOB. Dang~ Taylor Lautner is one sexy man. Unlike some disgusting vampire who's hairy and... well, hairy. No wonder you can only hear girls screaming at the half-naked Jacob Black!Yes, there were tons of girls who were just screaming so much in the cinema (as expected). The movie on the general base was alright, although I can be quite picky when it comes to Kristen Stewart. No one drop of tears came out of the girls eye throughout the movie althought she was suppose to be heart-broken when the love of her life left her.... clearly not really the love of her life~ *rolls eyes*
I'm looking forward to seeing Cloudy with the chance of Meatball. A bit childish for my age I know~ But I'm still in love with kid's animation. Considering I'm an anime & Manga addict, there should be no surprise there. At least I'm not as bad as my cousin Mary who is 24 and still loves Happy Meal!
Right now, I feel like my life is going on its downhill. You're probably not going to believe this but there is 2 grade 10 boys who are desperately after me... I know, they must be blind & stupid. I have rejected one about 5 times now and he still isn't giving up. The other one isn't as desperate *phew~*. Okay... Maybe I'm feaking out a bit too much. I mean, let's not get carried away since it's holiday right? The feelings should die out during the holiday ( I hope so). The thing is, it's not that these 2 boys are weird or anything. It's just that I shouldn't be with someone when there is this other person in my mind who I have yet to erase. If I do, I knew I just couldn't live witht he guilt. Sooner or later it will destroy me. I just can't take that risk when I'm a freakin grade 12.
Recently, I've been spending a lot of $ on sticker photos... Zoom & Playtime. And I consider myelf a pro at ot now... xD. I've uploaded all of them onto facebook so go see them there because I just can't be f**ked up loading them here with the super bad quality. Not worth it~~!
That's all from me today.... Too lazy to type anymore! =P
YuMi
As you may have notice I've decided to change my blogger skins because... well, the cat has gone missing in my previous skin xD.
First up, I'm turning back to bookworm this holiday~ All thanks to Damian Henley who lent me the book 'Hell Island" by Matthew Reilly, and now I'm addicted. Currently reading "Ice Station". The thing is, his book has a lot of swearing and also quite graphic in terms of blood! But hey, it's full of action as well and it doesn't give you a break. Once you pick it up, you can't put it down! =D
Okay, so as expected I went to watch New Moon *squeals*Jacob, Jacob, JACOB. Dang~ Taylor Lautner is one sexy man. Unlike some disgusting vampire who's hairy and... well, hairy. No wonder you can only hear girls screaming at the half-naked Jacob Black!Yes, there were tons of girls who were just screaming so much in the cinema (as expected). The movie on the general base was alright, although I can be quite picky when it comes to Kristen Stewart. No one drop of tears came out of the girls eye throughout the movie althought she was suppose to be heart-broken when the love of her life left her.... clearly not really the love of her life~ *rolls eyes*
I'm looking forward to seeing Cloudy with the chance of Meatball. A bit childish for my age I know~ But I'm still in love with kid's animation. Considering I'm an anime & Manga addict, there should be no surprise there. At least I'm not as bad as my cousin Mary who is 24 and still loves Happy Meal!
Right now, I feel like my life is going on its downhill. You're probably not going to believe this but there is 2 grade 10 boys who are desperately after me... I know, they must be blind & stupid. I have rejected one about 5 times now and he still isn't giving up. The other one isn't as desperate *phew~*. Okay... Maybe I'm feaking out a bit too much. I mean, let's not get carried away since it's holiday right? The feelings should die out during the holiday ( I hope so). The thing is, it's not that these 2 boys are weird or anything. It's just that I shouldn't be with someone when there is this other person in my mind who I have yet to erase. If I do, I knew I just couldn't live witht he guilt. Sooner or later it will destroy me. I just can't take that risk when I'm a freakin grade 12.
Recently, I've been spending a lot of $ on sticker photos... Zoom & Playtime. And I consider myelf a pro at ot now... xD. I've uploaded all of them onto facebook so go see them there because I just can't be f**ked up loading them here with the super bad quality. Not worth it~~!
That's all from me today.... Too lazy to type anymore! =P
YuMi
2:29 PM
Monday, November 16, 2009
♥ For Shelley~ =[
I don’t know what to say… it was such a shock. It must have been the worst news you’ve got in your life. It can just take your breath away. All the things that you’ve been through suddenly rushed to your mind and then you realised… they’re just memories, you memories. And it’s just tearing you apart.
I wasn’t there. I call myself your friend but I wasn’t there the moment you broke down. I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I said I’ll be here, I said you can depend on me. But now I’m just the loser who can’t keep her promise.
It was ironic that while celebration is going on at one place, the tragedy was taking place at another. While I was enjoying myself, you heart was breaking into pieces. And it’s bleeding… bleeding… and bleeding. While I was laughing, you tears drift down you cheeks and soaked your clothes.
I know you are hurting. I know you can no longer keep yourself together. I know you probably lost all your strength at the instance. I know it’s hard to accept the truth. Things can never be the same again. I’m sorry you have to go through all these. But I believe you can do it.
YuMi
I wasn’t there. I call myself your friend but I wasn’t there the moment you broke down. I wasn’t there when you needed me the most. I said I’ll be here, I said you can depend on me. But now I’m just the loser who can’t keep her promise.
It was ironic that while celebration is going on at one place, the tragedy was taking place at another. While I was enjoying myself, you heart was breaking into pieces. And it’s bleeding… bleeding… and bleeding. While I was laughing, you tears drift down you cheeks and soaked your clothes.
I know you are hurting. I know you can no longer keep yourself together. I know you probably lost all your strength at the instance. I know it’s hard to accept the truth. Things can never be the same again. I’m sorry you have to go through all these. But I believe you can do it.
YuMi
8:12 PM
♥ To Angie
Sometimes, some things are better hidden than revealed. Sometimes, it better not to know at all than bleeding after you know it. Sometimes, it’d be easier just to be lied to than to learn the hurtful truth.
一輩子裡… 我們不知道錯過ㄌ多少ㄉ機會, 多少ㄉ快樂. 當被發現時都已經太遲了.
It’s the past, there’s nothing that can be changed. You can only accept it and move on. I know it’s hard to let go, especially after all this time, after all you’ve been through. Baby, I hate to see you get hurt and not being able to do a thing about it. When you’ve always been there for me I couldn’t be here when you needed me the most. I’m sorry.
Right now, the only thing you can do is take your mind off it.... think about something else. I know it's not going to be easy. It's not meant to be easy. But he has moved on (and curse him for telling you all this when he knows it'll hurt you) so you should too. I know he wounded you, I know you're still bleeding. Even so, DO NOT torture yourself. Be happy... for him.
放逐所有的心痛 也許痛苦就能狠下心 忘記愛過...
YuMi
一輩子裡… 我們不知道錯過ㄌ多少ㄉ機會, 多少ㄉ快樂. 當被發現時都已經太遲了.
It’s the past, there’s nothing that can be changed. You can only accept it and move on. I know it’s hard to let go, especially after all this time, after all you’ve been through. Baby, I hate to see you get hurt and not being able to do a thing about it. When you’ve always been there for me I couldn’t be here when you needed me the most. I’m sorry.
Right now, the only thing you can do is take your mind off it.... think about something else. I know it's not going to be easy. It's not meant to be easy. But he has moved on (and curse him for telling you all this when he knows it'll hurt you) so you should too. I know he wounded you, I know you're still bleeding. Even so, DO NOT torture yourself. Be happy... for him.
放逐所有的心痛 也許痛苦就能狠下心 忘記愛過...
YuMi
5:22 PM
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
♥ Gossips and rumours
Let’s admit it, we all do a little of gossiping at least once in our lives… but we sometimes don’t realise that we sometimes back stab as well. We talk behind some people’s back simply because we’re too afraid to say things to their face.
I never really thought about this issue until today. Well, unless you gossip like an old woman… you probably don’t realise it yourself either. So at the back of the bus the senior students were at it again, including me there were about 5 people in the conversation… and one of the person is a guy! The point is, we chitchatted like old women… = =”. The conversation basically ranged from a particular person to an f**ked up grade like ours… pretty much all the bad stuff if you ask me. After Darshana got off the stuff I found myself started to rant on about what happened between her and Michelle. The words just came out and I didn’t even think before I say them (well, Ben was too convincing). I swear I have 0% of ill-intention when I said those things… forgive me. And if you are reading this Charlie, I sincerely apologise about what I said about you being fragile >”<.
I also told 4 people (who I think were the only ones listening) that I’m going to do a certain ‘thing’. The news should get out pretty soon (or maybe it has already gotten out) about this event taking place pretty soon. I finally plucked up the courage to make this decision, yet I need more courage to put my decision in action. And maybe you don’t even know what I’m talking about but I don’t have enough time to explain the whole story… too long. Cheyenne is probably going to tell me how much effort her and Darleen had made to knock some sense into me (for Darleen, it was more of a physical knock). I lost count of those who were telling me to do this while I remained stubborn. I thought I was going to stick with my original decision but rumours just got way out of hand that I finally had enough. I have put up with enough bullshit and tolerated enough lies. If you ask my friends at school they’ll tell you that I’ve been hurt too much that I’ve already lost my mind. In a way, it is true. I chose to not to listen what other said they’ve seen, I usually don’t believe things until I see it for myself which is probably the reason why I chose to ignore all the rumours that built up each day. I think after a period of time people realised that it was pretty much no use trying to make me see what is really true.
Well, I can finally see it now and I know I’ve gotta stay tough. I’ve got enough people to back me up and give me courage… I’m not afraid anymore!
YuMi
I never really thought about this issue until today. Well, unless you gossip like an old woman… you probably don’t realise it yourself either. So at the back of the bus the senior students were at it again, including me there were about 5 people in the conversation… and one of the person is a guy! The point is, we chitchatted like old women… = =”. The conversation basically ranged from a particular person to an f**ked up grade like ours… pretty much all the bad stuff if you ask me. After Darshana got off the stuff I found myself started to rant on about what happened between her and Michelle. The words just came out and I didn’t even think before I say them (well, Ben was too convincing). I swear I have 0% of ill-intention when I said those things… forgive me. And if you are reading this Charlie, I sincerely apologise about what I said about you being fragile >”<.
I also told 4 people (who I think were the only ones listening) that I’m going to do a certain ‘thing’. The news should get out pretty soon (or maybe it has already gotten out) about this event taking place pretty soon. I finally plucked up the courage to make this decision, yet I need more courage to put my decision in action. And maybe you don’t even know what I’m talking about but I don’t have enough time to explain the whole story… too long. Cheyenne is probably going to tell me how much effort her and Darleen had made to knock some sense into me (for Darleen, it was more of a physical knock). I lost count of those who were telling me to do this while I remained stubborn. I thought I was going to stick with my original decision but rumours just got way out of hand that I finally had enough. I have put up with enough bullshit and tolerated enough lies. If you ask my friends at school they’ll tell you that I’ve been hurt too much that I’ve already lost my mind. In a way, it is true. I chose to not to listen what other said they’ve seen, I usually don’t believe things until I see it for myself which is probably the reason why I chose to ignore all the rumours that built up each day. I think after a period of time people realised that it was pretty much no use trying to make me see what is really true.
Well, I can finally see it now and I know I’ve gotta stay tough. I’ve got enough people to back me up and give me courage… I’m not afraid anymore!
YuMi
10:05 PM
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
♥ Influences
I don’t know about others, but I’m the kind of person that gets influence easily. If I hang around a specific personality type for a couple of months, I become like them. The way I talk, dress and even the way I look at certain things
For example, there was a period of time when I spent most of my days with Shaunna and Daniel Adams. So they where a lot of black, listened to Evanescence, draw emo stuff and etc. therefore, at the period of time I kind of renovated my closet and it became all black. I started downloading Evanescence songs and others artists that they listen to. But I didn’t realise it then that I’m gradually changing. I guess in a way you can say I’m flexible… like versatile and adaptable. Sometimes I do become too comfortable with my physical adaptation. I will start to think that the way my friend looks is the way I should look… it’s a peer pressure thing really if you look at it closely. I tend to get caught up with this thing called “fitting in”, having to experience what it’s like to get picked on and all; I will want to avoid it happening again. Recently, I’ve noticed the changes. I started wearing dresses (which a couple of years ago I totally hated) and I became more materialistic. I remember my friend Darleen mentioned a couple of time when we go out together that I dress like a boy. I used to where a lot of jeans, for some reason skirts were not my thing then. But what she said was 1 reason I change the way I dress. The other reason was that I started dating… I’ve got someone to impress sort of. So everyday I tried to look my best, kind of stupid now I think about it.
Of course, it’s not all bad (although mostly bad). Like, hanging around Darleen who does school work makes me want to do my assignments. Hanging around Shelley who reads a lot I started to read like a book worm. But things like influence come in a package, since there’s no one person in this world who’s absolutely perfect and have no flaws. So I’ve picked up some pretty bad habits like spending a lot of time watching anime and reading manga. On top of that, I’m talking like a Bogan. Not that my friend is a bogan or anything, just that the type of phrase I pick up from their speeches make me sound like a bogan since I don’t even use those phrases under the right situation and concept… dry~~!
YuMi
For example, there was a period of time when I spent most of my days with Shaunna and Daniel Adams. So they where a lot of black, listened to Evanescence, draw emo stuff and etc. therefore, at the period of time I kind of renovated my closet and it became all black. I started downloading Evanescence songs and others artists that they listen to. But I didn’t realise it then that I’m gradually changing. I guess in a way you can say I’m flexible… like versatile and adaptable. Sometimes I do become too comfortable with my physical adaptation. I will start to think that the way my friend looks is the way I should look… it’s a peer pressure thing really if you look at it closely. I tend to get caught up with this thing called “fitting in”, having to experience what it’s like to get picked on and all; I will want to avoid it happening again. Recently, I’ve noticed the changes. I started wearing dresses (which a couple of years ago I totally hated) and I became more materialistic. I remember my friend Darleen mentioned a couple of time when we go out together that I dress like a boy. I used to where a lot of jeans, for some reason skirts were not my thing then. But what she said was 1 reason I change the way I dress. The other reason was that I started dating… I’ve got someone to impress sort of. So everyday I tried to look my best, kind of stupid now I think about it.
Of course, it’s not all bad (although mostly bad). Like, hanging around Darleen who does school work makes me want to do my assignments. Hanging around Shelley who reads a lot I started to read like a book worm. But things like influence come in a package, since there’s no one person in this world who’s absolutely perfect and have no flaws. So I’ve picked up some pretty bad habits like spending a lot of time watching anime and reading manga. On top of that, I’m talking like a Bogan. Not that my friend is a bogan or anything, just that the type of phrase I pick up from their speeches make me sound like a bogan since I don’t even use those phrases under the right situation and concept… dry~~!
YuMi
8:28 PM
