Monday, November 30, 2009

For Joshua:

Life sucks for you. You felt like you are all alone with no one you can depend on… no one you can trust. It’s like you are surrounded by strangers. Even worse, haters…

The pressure traps you inside this little bottle, where you place all your boundaries. Where you distance yourself from others. Because you need to protect yourself. You need to protect yourself from those who hurt you, who took away your happiness and exchange it with pain & suffer. You wanted to end this all, you wanted a way out. Because you can’t run away from it, it’s part of you, part of your life. Nothing you can change. You kept hurting yourself when the pain struck, only to remind yourself that the pain is real. Since there is nothing there to stop you and no one will even notice. But think about it… what if there’s someone who doesn’t want this for you. What if there’s someone who loves and cares about you? What if hurting yourself hurts them?

I can name them… all of them. Like you said, they can be weirdoes and psychos sometimes, but they have a good heart. They care, they love. Don’t die for those who don’t care & hurt you but instead, live for those who count on you in their lives, for those who take your life seriously. Live, even though it’s hard. Live, even though it hurts. Live, for yourself, for Alex, for Corey, for Ben, for Jarrod and… for me!

YuMi