Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Confusion, depression and frustration.

To be more precise, I currently am confused with mix feelings. Penny if you are reading this, you will be shocked about it… Angie if you are reading this, I want you to know that I am prepared to take that risk, because I know he is worth it.

Everything is cramped together, in this short amount of time. Above all things, I am most certain that my battle with the exams is going to be fierce. It's only a day away, one more day to remember all my lines. One more day to prepare my entire PowerPoint's. One more day, until all my frustrations reach its peak. One more day, until we find out if I will really collapse. One more day…
I can never emphasize enough about what is on my mind. I just feel like a freak… if I was ever certain about something, I was certain about the following:

• NG; carries my burden, confiscate my tears, the one and only… irreplaceable!
  
• Penny; younger than me, but more mature. The best listener and secret keeper.
  
• Chao; owns my heart, holds the perfect key to it, irresistible.
  
• Shaunna & Alex; support me through all odds, always there for me… mummy and daddy!
  
• B.T, J.F; I'm sorry…
  

I cannot imagine the kind of reaction I'm going to get from people when they hear about this, most will be shocked, surprise/not surprise and even disappointed. 3 weeks ago, I face myself, telling myself that I cannot keep running away from the truth. The truth is… my heart stay with the very same person all along, it's like it has glued itself to him. I told myself I have to move on… but I can't. I told myself I have to let go… but I can't. I told myself….. It's impossible. Even after the connection was cut, I still had a one way connection. I missed him, the times we've spend together; watching fireworks, talk, laugh, hug and kiss. I feel safe holding his hand, I feel secure in his arms. He, to me, is simply irresistible. I can truly say, with all my heart, I love him… unconditionally.

YuMi