Thursday, December 31, 2009
♥ pushover?
Okay, one question... Am I too nice to those who doesn't deserve to be treated nicely?! Well, recently I've been told that I am being too nice to everyone and don't stand up for myself~
So what~? so I put up with everyone, try my best not to hurt anyone and never really fight back when my brother calls me names (mainly because I don't know any good comebacks xP)... That's all the things that everyone suppose to do, right? Be polite to everyone around you and treat others the way you want to be treated... right?
Fine... Maybe I can be a bit too nice sometimes, but that's not my fault~ I swear I was born like this. According to my parents, I'm the only child they know who doesn't get jealous AT ALL when a younger sibling was born~ STRANGE MUCH??? I mean, even now if I get jealous of something I won't show it but I'm sure some of you *hint hint* can see that it's written all over my face... in Penny's case, it's the look of my eyes that shows it~! Anyway... either way, I admit that I ain't good expressing my anger or sadness... on the other hand I'm probably best at showing joy and happiness :D :D :D
I can't always let others know my feelings, it causes trouble. Everyone has got their own stuff to worry about so I shouldn't add my problem to theirs. Sometimes I just feel like pain in the ass for my friends: Angie, Shaunna, Mary, Michelle & Penny (maybe occasionally Hsinkai). I feel like a burden to them. Topping my stupid problems on their serious, critical problems. I can't be selfish, no. If I don't deal with my own shit myself, then I can never be independent. I don't want to rely on others all the time, I don't want to be a burden. Yes, maybe life is difficult and yes, maybe I just keep taking in everything and keep quite all the time and I don't know... Maybe someday all of this feeling that I have bottled up might explode. But what does that change? I want to help, to always be there, to always care. This is the only thing I can do where I can feel like I'm not so useless & pathetic, where I'm not the creature that takes up EXTRA space of this planet. If there is a God, I don't want him to regret creating me. I don't want to become a selfish trash...
YuMi
So what~? so I put up with everyone, try my best not to hurt anyone and never really fight back when my brother calls me names (mainly because I don't know any good comebacks xP)... That's all the things that everyone suppose to do, right? Be polite to everyone around you and treat others the way you want to be treated... right?
Fine... Maybe I can be a bit too nice sometimes, but that's not my fault~ I swear I was born like this. According to my parents, I'm the only child they know who doesn't get jealous AT ALL when a younger sibling was born~ STRANGE MUCH??? I mean, even now if I get jealous of something I won't show it but I'm sure some of you *hint hint* can see that it's written all over my face... in Penny's case, it's the look of my eyes that shows it~! Anyway... either way, I admit that I ain't good expressing my anger or sadness... on the other hand I'm probably best at showing joy and happiness :D :D :D
I can't always let others know my feelings, it causes trouble. Everyone has got their own stuff to worry about so I shouldn't add my problem to theirs. Sometimes I just feel like pain in the ass for my friends: Angie, Shaunna, Mary, Michelle & Penny (maybe occasionally Hsinkai). I feel like a burden to them. Topping my stupid problems on their serious, critical problems. I can't be selfish, no. If I don't deal with my own shit myself, then I can never be independent. I don't want to rely on others all the time, I don't want to be a burden. Yes, maybe life is difficult and yes, maybe I just keep taking in everything and keep quite all the time and I don't know... Maybe someday all of this feeling that I have bottled up might explode. But what does that change? I want to help, to always be there, to always care. This is the only thing I can do where I can feel like I'm not so useless & pathetic, where I'm not the creature that takes up EXTRA space of this planet. If there is a God, I don't want him to regret creating me. I don't want to become a selfish trash...YuMi
7:32 PM
