Tuesday, June 9, 2009
♥ Your choice...
I can not explain things clear enough, but I felt that I am becoming more and more distanced from you. On the surface, it looks all right. But deep inside you know that there is something wrong. And it’s not entirely your fault, yet I couldn’t bring myself to clarify the whole situation to you.
I’m confused and I can’t elucidate. If it wasn’t you nor me, then who? I refused to believe that there is another person involved in this; I have chosen to block that image out of my mind. Looking back, I’ve force myself to believe the truth of the past. I have learnt to accept that there is nothing I can do but to make things better now. Knowing the truth was hard, but accepting it was harder. And things can never be the same after both sides of the story is told. It’s hard to commit to one thing when you know undoubtedly inside your mind the same thing happened before but to a different person. One little extra information can change the entire story.
I don’t know what you are thinking because I can’t see what is inside you thoughts, but I do not want to force words out of your unwillingness. Because it makes me feel like a control freak, it makes me feel like I am an evil and good-for-nothing human being. You know well and clear that I hated secrets, and yet you decided to keep things to yourself, excluding me from things that had given you pain and made you suffer. I felt useless not being able to do anything about it, and dreadful guilt burned me to see myself so worthless. I hated myself for not being able to put a smile on your face, it almost felt like I am your enemy. That all I do is hurt you, in doing so it also tore open my old wounds that carry several dispirited memories. You have made me grasp meaning of what it’s like to be in love and as well as understanding that I really can love a person so much that it hurts. Don’t pretend you don’t understand anything because I know you do, you just don’t feel secure enough to tell me so. I don’t know whether it was because you don’t trust me or you just don’t want me to worry, but it makes me concern even more if you keep everything to yourself.
I know I am a selfish, childish and jealous girl. I know that you deserve better, I know your life would be more fruitful without me. I’m merely a handicap that stands between you and your goal, a burden that holds you back when you could have done better. Don’t hate me for writing this; I just want to be inside your circle, I want to be part of your life. Like I said before, you have become a part of me, your pain is my pain and your happiness is my happiness. Its okay if others doesn’t understand, as long as we have each other, we can live on. I’m not demanding for anything, all I want to do is to be inside your circle. So please, stop prohibiting me from your life. Other wise, please tell me you don’t want me there anymore…
YuMi
I’m confused and I can’t elucidate. If it wasn’t you nor me, then who? I refused to believe that there is another person involved in this; I have chosen to block that image out of my mind. Looking back, I’ve force myself to believe the truth of the past. I have learnt to accept that there is nothing I can do but to make things better now. Knowing the truth was hard, but accepting it was harder. And things can never be the same after both sides of the story is told. It’s hard to commit to one thing when you know undoubtedly inside your mind the same thing happened before but to a different person. One little extra information can change the entire story.
I don’t know what you are thinking because I can’t see what is inside you thoughts, but I do not want to force words out of your unwillingness. Because it makes me feel like a control freak, it makes me feel like I am an evil and good-for-nothing human being. You know well and clear that I hated secrets, and yet you decided to keep things to yourself, excluding me from things that had given you pain and made you suffer. I felt useless not being able to do anything about it, and dreadful guilt burned me to see myself so worthless. I hated myself for not being able to put a smile on your face, it almost felt like I am your enemy. That all I do is hurt you, in doing so it also tore open my old wounds that carry several dispirited memories. You have made me grasp meaning of what it’s like to be in love and as well as understanding that I really can love a person so much that it hurts. Don’t pretend you don’t understand anything because I know you do, you just don’t feel secure enough to tell me so. I don’t know whether it was because you don’t trust me or you just don’t want me to worry, but it makes me concern even more if you keep everything to yourself.
I know I am a selfish, childish and jealous girl. I know that you deserve better, I know your life would be more fruitful without me. I’m merely a handicap that stands between you and your goal, a burden that holds you back when you could have done better. Don’t hate me for writing this; I just want to be inside your circle, I want to be part of your life. Like I said before, you have become a part of me, your pain is my pain and your happiness is my happiness. Its okay if others doesn’t understand, as long as we have each other, we can live on. I’m not demanding for anything, all I want to do is to be inside your circle. So please, stop prohibiting me from your life. Other wise, please tell me you don’t want me there anymore…
YuMi
7:35 PM
