Tuesday, May 19, 2009
♥ Does the truth always make you suffer?
There will always be times for you and your "other half" has a heart to heart chat. Well, this one is about my convo went....
The chat was about his ex.... This might sound a bit retarded, talking about your boyfriend's ex but it's just a way that I use to understand him a bit more.
Okay, so it's time for us to confess things about our pass. I had found out how much he had valued her in his life and I kind of admired him for that, for the way he describe things so deep. It surprised me, that the way he spoke about her, the looks in his eyes made me bit very hard on my inner lips as I tried my best to force a smile on my face.
To be honest, I envied this girl. She had everything that I couldn't have then. Looks, personality and most importantly, him. She had his heart, the one I had tried so hard to hang on to, slipped from my grip and flew to her. She was his first true love...
I was the one asking the questions in the first place, so I should be able to handle whatever he throws at me. But I couldn't. I simply couldn't when I realized how painful it was to discover the fact that he really had loved her. The feeling of jealousy burned inside me as I hid my balled-up fist behind my back and tried to sound happy. I had to accept the truth right? After all, there's nothing I can do about it, it's happened and I can't change the past.
What are you getting all jealous for? It's the past, it's gone. Idiot, I told myself.I asked about the whole thing because I thought I want to know about it, I want to know more about him, but right now, I don't know if I had made the right decision or not. Because Chao is the only person in this world who was able to take my heart and either cherish it or tare it into small pieces (mentally, of course) and this meant that I have to give it my all. To trust that he wouldn’t crush my heart, to trust myself that I can handle the truth.
From the looks of it, I didn’t handle to truth good enough…..
YuMi
The chat was about his ex.... This might sound a bit retarded, talking about your boyfriend's ex but it's just a way that I use to understand him a bit more.
Okay, so it's time for us to confess things about our pass. I had found out how much he had valued her in his life and I kind of admired him for that, for the way he describe things so deep. It surprised me, that the way he spoke about her, the looks in his eyes made me bit very hard on my inner lips as I tried my best to force a smile on my face.
To be honest, I envied this girl. She had everything that I couldn't have then. Looks, personality and most importantly, him. She had his heart, the one I had tried so hard to hang on to, slipped from my grip and flew to her. She was his first true love...
I was the one asking the questions in the first place, so I should be able to handle whatever he throws at me. But I couldn't. I simply couldn't when I realized how painful it was to discover the fact that he really had loved her. The feeling of jealousy burned inside me as I hid my balled-up fist behind my back and tried to sound happy. I had to accept the truth right? After all, there's nothing I can do about it, it's happened and I can't change the past.
What are you getting all jealous for? It's the past, it's gone. Idiot, I told myself.I asked about the whole thing because I thought I want to know about it, I want to know more about him, but right now, I don't know if I had made the right decision or not. Because Chao is the only person in this world who was able to take my heart and either cherish it or tare it into small pieces (mentally, of course) and this meant that I have to give it my all. To trust that he wouldn’t crush my heart, to trust myself that I can handle the truth.
From the looks of it, I didn’t handle to truth good enough…..
YuMi
5:41 PM
